During my graduate school years several decades ago, I made the acquaintance of a fellow graduate student - actually, he might have been working on his PhD - named Mohammed. A memory involving Mohammed was lost in the midst of time until recently, when something reminded me of an experience I had with him.
Mohammad and I did become more than just friends. But, he wasn’t really a boyfriend, either. The relationship resided in some zone in between, something I had not experienced before and have not since.
We would have these deep conversations and I just remember his enormous sensitivity. He was thin and had long expressive fingers. He was very fond of the cigarette habit. (Yes, an awful habit, but I think it was just more common back then.) Perhaps this habit calmed his sensitive nature. I don’t know.
One afternoon, I was feeling fatigued and decided to take a nap. Lying in my room in a house I shared with other students, I easily fell asleep. But, this nap proved to have a different quality…
During my comfortable slumber that afternoon, I suddenly became aware of Mohammed’s presence. His non-physical, subtle body was standing in front of me and there was a crackling static, both visual and audible, happening around him.
He looked at me and simply said, “Ann, please let me love you.” (I went by “Ann” back then.)
A short while later, I woke up remembering his message, so simple and direct…so powerful…
I called him not long after and asked how he was doing. He said that it was odd, that he had taken a nap that afternoon but that he woke up more tired than when he went to sleep.
“Well,” I responded, “That is not really a surprise. That’s because you’ve been running around town!” And then I told him about my nap experience
He didn’t seem surprised. I don’t remember his exact response, but whatever his response was, it was in keeping with this beautiful experience.
It was touching and wonderful to remember, on this day, this message from long ago. Yes, Mohammed, I sense I am more available to receive love now. Life has opened me up in a myriad of ways.
Thank you for loving me.
Annie Kiyonaga
August 23, 2022